Religion often tells us to forgive and forget. Mahatma Gandhi professed that if you get slapped on one cheek, you need to take it in your stride and turn your other cheek to the one who slapped you. Our folks have always encouraged us, right from when we were kids, to forgive others when they hit us or broke our possessions. The all-famous “forgive and forget” just cannot be forgotten. If you have a bone to pick with someone for too long, then you get to be the clown who everybody talks behind in society.
But, rape…..is unforgivable. It’s just something that no one, ever, should be a victim of. Is it the victim’s fault that he or she got raped? There are several theories, but I continue to believe that it is never the victim’s fault. Everyone has freedom of choice in today’s society. So why was the victim not given a choice? Who gave the rapist the right to trespass, to violate somone??
Have you ever listened to a victim talk after the catastrophe? It’s tragic! They take a very long time to recover and even open up to anyone.
Just ‘cuz a rapist apologizes, does not mean that he is off the hook. Is it really that simple? You sin with your actions and your words do penance? Is that justice? Maybe the victim would have a heart that is generous enough to offer forgiveness. But is the victim obliged to do that? Not at all.
Frankly, we cannot imagine how a victim’s life turns out to be after the mishap. Does time heal what they go through? Is time really a healer in this case? It’s easy to ask or expect the victim to forgive and forget after a few years, but it remains a fact that each one of us responds differently to trauma. If what that person went through scars them mentally throughout life, I support them if they decide not to forgive the rapist.